Read AND Perish: Breaking Dawn

Local Librarian’s Warning: Do not read this book if you are pregnant, or are ever planning to become pregnant.

Despite the success of the first three books in the Twilight series (quick intro: teen vampire drama series by Stephanie Meyer), and the anticipation that greeted the fourth book’s release, very few fans have been satisfied with Breaking Dawn for various reasons. In fact, the book was problematic enough that I’m going to suggest that you not read it – because if you do, the consequences could be dire. Well, not really (unless you have a particularly weak stomach.)

If you still feel you need closure, I’m going to suggest you try some nice fanfiction instead. I am not kidding when I say that it wouldn’t be very hard to find something better than Meyer’s latest crackfest of a novel. This book doesn’t seem to be written for the fans – or for anyone, really, it sort of defies all audiences, and that is an insurmountable problem in my book. And I’m not alone – many of the fans that purchased the book early on, before the reviews came out, have decided to return their copies of the book, rather than support the book’s publication. You can read more about it here

Mind you, there are some people that liked, even loved, Breaking Dawn. I don’t know any of them, but I hear they exist.

There are tons of reviews out there, so we’re not going to go too in-depth on the subject, but if you want a breakdown of what went wrong, you can read Ardis’s take on it:

Why I Didn’t Like Breaking Dawn and
Oh the Skeeviness, Let me Count the Ways
By Ardis

In order from most offensive to least:

1. Who is the audience of this book? Certainly not the teens the series was initially aimed at.

2. The entirety of Book #2, but let me break it down:

a. Hip-cracking, pelvis-rending, spine-breaking pregnanices
b. Babies with teeth
c. Blood-drinking babies
d. The fact that we’re supposed to think babies with a full set of teeth that drink blood are cute
e. Grown men imprinting on babies
f. Why is Bella slavishly devoted to a baby that bruises, batters, breaks, and bites her? Is she worried at all about this extremely abnormal pregnancy? Doesn’t she wonder what kind of creature this baby will grow up to be? And if the baby isn’t possessing her while she’s preggers, why isn’t she having any of these worries?
g. Why is an entire book written from Jacob’s POV? Why not Edward? Why not Bella to answer all my questions in #7?

3. Plot inconsistencies: like, what happened to Bella’s wanting to go to college?

4. The anti-climactic Volturi thing: we’re bringing an army of the undead to annihilate you…psych!

5. This last book seems very different from the first three

6. How are they going to make this into a movie??? I didn’t think the series was in the horror genre… (Dea: srsly, I don’t want to see Cedric Diggory ripping Bella’s womb open with his teeth)

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3 responses to “Read AND Perish: Breaking Dawn

  1. The only reason Bella wanted to stay human and go to college is to have sex with Edward more.

  2. You’re right Olivia, and that’s incredibly lame of Bella. That’s a lot of money to pay in tuition just to have sex.

  3. Pingback: Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end? Part 2 « Watertown Readers’ Advisory

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